Connie is turned down for admission to a prestigious summer school because it already has too many Asian kids. Realizing that working hard and overachieving will never help them get…
When flood threatens the town, the Arlenites gather in the communal shelter: The Tom Landry gym. Hank is supposed to be in charge, but while he’s delayed at the town’s…
After Peggy organizes a bird society, Bill begins trying to attract birds by laying out food in everyone’s yard. When pigeons begin to flock to Bill’s yard as well as…
To toughen up Bobby, Hank decides to send him to Cotton’s old boot camp, unaware that lawsuits have altered the severe conditions. When Cotton hears of the new ”softer” side…
Bill tries to get the attention of a beautiful jogger, by setting a trap in the street. She trips and falls, hurting her ankle but instead she goes home with…
Unable to find a full-time teaching job, Peggy agrees to go to work with Hank at Stickland Propane. An idea that Hank is much fonder of than Peggy. When the…
Bobby passes himself off as a high school student (explaining his height by claiming that he suffers from a kidney condition), and gets caught up in the school’s attempt to…
The guys go to Austin for Bill’s birthday. At the hotel, they decide to have some fun by mooning people through the glass elevator, and Hank accidentally moons the former…
Hank’s long time barber goes senile, so he turns to Bill, an army barber, for his haircuts. Bill gives him a great haircut, but it turns out that the bill…
Bobby gets an F in English, from a former colleague of Peggy’s. So she helps him write a new essay, and winds up writing the whole thing. The essay gets…
Hank takes his mother and her friends to a museum of miniatures in Port Aransas, and they get stuck in the middle of MTV’s Spring Break. Meanwhile, Bill tries to…
Cat tries to get Shriek and Dog married so the Greasers will stop pounding him. Then, he dreams about there life together, and sees how bad it would be. When…
When Mega Lo Mart starts selling propane, Strickland Propane can’t compete with their prices, and Hank loses his job. He winds up working in the propane department at Mega Lo…
Hank can’t catch any fish with hand-dug American Earthworms, so he decides to try some artificial bait. Unfortunately, he mistakenly buys crack cocaine, thinking that it’s fishing bait — and…
Hank wants to have the best lawn in the neighborhood for Cinco de Mayo, and he decides that Dale’s weekly bug-spraying is hurting his lawn. He tells Dale not to…
Peggy is assigned to teach a Sex Education class. She has to teach herself to overcome her crippling sense of shame and call body parts by their right names —…
